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Stupid Bitter Man Child

by Joe Dickinson

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1.
Stupid Bitter Man Child 03:14
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Stupid bitter man child Acting like a little child Said he doesn’t want to have a child He’s a stupid bitter man child Come gather round children! Come see the freak And let me tell you the story Of this despondent coward It’s a tragedy in three acts! Act one - He gets the girl And everything is alright with the world They’re in love Isn’t that great? In a world full of iridescent hate They’re in love Then act 2 Doubt Trepidation Uncertainty Dishonest The day to day Has a way Of making play A task that must be scheduled And you knew something was happening You just didn’t know what it was Did you Mr Joe? Which brings me To act three Girl leaves boy And now the boy makes dinners for two For one It’s not very fun He’s quietly aching for his companion But what can he do Except turn the screw Into his heart Until the part that she nixed Is fixed Let’s see if it’s fixed (NOPE) And so you see This is a tragedy A first world Tragedy Of a… Stupid bitter man child Driving zero women wild Universally reviled He’s a stupid bitter man child
2.
Harder To Hide 02:18
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How low can I go I don’t know Come find me In the gray clouds Creeping through crowds Alone Always Like a serpent In the sewer Broken glass Will pass Right through me Investing In future testing Alone Always Like a barbell On a statue I can smile too Just like all of you But I’m different inside And that’s getting Harder to hide I lay all day And then say You did this to me Passed Or picked last Alone Always Like an apple On a face I can smile too Just like all of you But I’m different inside And that’s getting Harder to hide Harder to hide I am hungry For flesh and bone A carnal carnival From the comfort of my home My world Is a swirl Of fantasies Exotic And neurotic Alone Always Like some hipster Nosferatu I can smile too Just like all of you But I’m different inside And that’s getting Harder to hide Harder to hide Harder to hide
3.
Like a Baby 03:10
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You sounded like a maniac When you dug your thumbs into my back I made you scream Like a baby It’s the end of the day Let it lay I want to go home These days you’re just a memory A beautiful face that I see in my dreams I wake up screaming Like a baby It’s the end of the day Let it lay I want to go home You sat like a statue As the years emptied out my eyes When I turned blue I looked up at you A heap on the floor Watched you walk out the door You are not my enemy Despite everything you might think Or hear or see You made me scream Like a baby It’s the end of the day Let it lay I want to go home The sun was coming down Yet the rain refused to stop In slo-mo I watched you go The trail of your car Like a shooting star Been crying for a little while I’m trying to teach myself how to smile again I sit here screaming Like a baby It’s the end of the day Let it lay I want to go home It’s the end of the day I just want to lay down Let me go home I want to go home
4.
Face the Silence 03:25
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It’s not fair You don’t have to face the silence You don’t have to face the silence You left me And now you get to be With your new lover And your new friends In your new place Our past erased You left me And now I get to be With no new lover And no new friends In our old place Face to face With a past That’s present for me Face the silence You don’t have to face the silence You don’t have to face the silence Falling out of love Is so easy to do When you’re falling in love With someone new Honesty Meant a lot to me But now I see You can never really know Anybody Face the silence You don’t have to face the silence You don’t have to face the silence The way out is through There’s nothing I can do Resist and reject it Or exist and accept it Nothing is fair No one has to care You did what you had to You did it for you I was born alone I’m gonna die alone The glass is already broken Cherish it while you can Face the silence You don’t have to face the silence You don’t have to face the silence
5.
Little Jokes 03:08
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I said “I don’t know where the keys are” You laughed and said “you’re so funny” When we ate dinner and the waiter brought over the check I pretended like I had no money You said “let me guess You left it in the truck” Then I pulled out my wallet And dramatically said “What luck!” Little jokes To make you smile Hit my head As it hits the tile I miss you a lot Once in a while I said “don’t trip” as you walked in the bedroom Then I threw you face-first on the bed Your back was sweaty because you had just worked out Our blanket was blue or maybe it was red I pretended I Was a tickle zombie You laughed and yelled “STOP” But you didn’t stop me Little jokes To make you smile Hit my head As it hits the tile I miss you a lot Once in a while When your Mom asked “when will you ask her” I said “probably when our kid gets braces” When our friends asked “do you want children?” I said “(barf)” and made disgusted faces When you started crying At the end of that random show I was stained glass Shattered by shadow You said “we don’t have a future” I said “if that’s true then we can’t get back here” You said “why are you always joking” I said “maybe somebody slipped something in my beer Come here I want to kiss you” But you turned your cheek away And then I heard you say “Sometimes I make me feel disgusted I didn’t know I didn’t want what I wanted Little jokes Don’t make me smile Stop acting like a child People change after a while” “Not me” I said Little jokes Still make me smile They flow through my head Like the river Nile You get used to it After a while
6.
Sleep On the Couch 03:49
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Here for six years then one day you’re gone Disappeared into someone else’s arms Like a boat drifted too far from the shore You said that you weren’t in love with me anymore So I sleep on the couch every night The empty space in our bed just doesn’t feel right That’s where you’re supposed to be What’s happening to me The life we built quietly fell apart You kept secrets in your heart Like a beggar I got down on my knees And pleaded with you “baby don’t leave, please” You said no I’ve got to go I’m leaving you joe I don’t want to be your partner in this life any more So I sleep on the couch every night I let the cushions and the pillows hold me tight They won’t let go of me Until I fall asleep I had to face myself Trapped alone inside my mind, a living hell Meanwhile you, you appear happy and free You posted pictures of the two of you for everyone to see So I sleep on the couch every night The empty space in our bed still doesn’t feel right That’s where you were supposed to be But now I can clearly see That you’re never coming home to me
7.
Beautiful and Broken 02:48
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If I get out of their way These words would convey The essence of everyday Beautiful and broken I wish that I could fly When I look out at the sky Maybe I should try If only I could be Confidently Happy and free Beautiful and broken I wish that I could fly When I look out at the sky Maybe I should try I was alive and now I’m dead I guess I finally lost my head I’m not sorry for the things I said Can I please go back to bed La la la la la la la La la la la la la la La la la la la la la La la la la la I really need to rest my head Take a bath and get fed I was about a day from being dead Beautiful and broken I wish that I could fly When I look out at the sky Maybe I should try Maybe I should try Maybe I should try I was alive and now I’m dead I guess I finally lost my head I’m not sorry for the things I said Can I please go back to bed La la la la la la la La la la la la la la La la la la la la la La la la la la
8.
Useless Memories 02:56
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We walk down by the river Hand in hand we stand next to the flood She’s long gone Stop hanging on To all of these useless memories We walk down city sidewalks The sunlight dancing through your hair On our way home Stop hanging on To all of these useless memories Useless is what they are Take the hole in your heart Replace it with a scar, oh How can I get rid of these Useless memories In a little place near the Piazza Navona They had 100 types of Tiramisu We ate one Stop hanging on To all of these useless memories How will I ever forget Your face when you facetimed To tell me you loved me And you wanted me back You strung me along Stop hanging on To all of these useless memories Useless is what they are Take the hole in your heart Replace it with a scar, oh How can I get rid of these Useless memories Wish I could get rid of these Useless memories Trying not to cherish these Useless memories
9.
Running In the Rainfall 03:54
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I had a feeling that you didn’t love me Now I know for sure I remember you gave me a kiss When you walked out the door Every time I check my email I check my phone I know there won’t be no messages from you You left me alone I’m running in the rainfall I’m running in the rainfall I’m running in the rainfall And don’t it feel bad Don’t it feel bad I had a feeling you loved someone else Then your mouth said “I do” The shiver I felt in my bones When you told me Tells me it’s true Now we won’t take no more walks on the weekend Drink coffee all day Never play the sequel to Zelda While fighting off the shakes I’m running in the rainfall I’m running in the rainfall I’m running in the rainfall And don’t it feel bad Don’t it feel bad Don’t it feel bad Running in the rain Running in the rain I thought our love, I thought our love, I thought our love, was really real I thought our love, I thought our love, I thought our love, was really real I’m in the rain baby I’m in the rain baby I’m running in the rainfall I’m running in the rainfall I’m running in the rainfall And don’t it feel bad Don’t it feel bad Don’t it feel bad Don’t it feel bad Don’t it feel bad Don’t it feel bad Don’t it feel bad Don’t it feel bad
10.
Quincy Again 03:02
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When I woke I wondered Did my heart explode My pillow Was tears My face was soaked Four dark hours crept till dawn arrived I’m in Quincy again The whistle blew And I knew I was on the Carl Sandburg line Riding The rails To the end of the line The prairie was swept With a blue broom to the west I’m in Quincy again I’m in Quincy again It was good To see Your family They were nice To me Through the years I didn’t get to say goodbye To the town where I first tried To prove to you that I Wanted you to be my wife Tried to hold on To the fading frame of our life Ignorance came in stones of gold I’m in Quincy again When we kissed Of course We couldn’t know What the future Would bring How you would go The sunset whispered a lonely good-bye I’m in Quincy again I’m in Quincy again When I woke I knew It would never be before I choked “I love you” Whatever that means anymore Trying to obey The traced circles of the moon I’m in Quincy again

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released May 4, 2020

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Joe Dickinson Chicago, Illinois

Hi, I’m Joe Dickinson.

I'm a DIY singer/songwriter from Chicago, IL.

It's not easy, balancing the external demands of work/life with the internal demands of creativity, but I'm working toward a set of sustainable internal systems that will allow me to continue to write, record, and release songs. Hopefully for the rest of my life.

I appreciate you taking the time to listen. ... more

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